In today’s life anger is one of the most important emotional problem, which has negative impacts on all sides of our life and our health. It has impact on our learning, relation, sleep, skin, digestion, and thinking process, but these are only some of its losses.
So, it is necessary to learn some skills to manage and control anger.
- First of all we have to know it is our belief system which creates anger.
- The angry person always blames others for his/her mistake or for the difficult situation which he is faces.
- This person believes that he has the right to punish others and he can punish them by the way he likes and he thinks it should be their punishment.
Here are some ways to manage our ager:
- while getting angry we have to review our expectation:
Anger is always the result of an expectation, which has not been satisfied. For example we expect other cars on road to give us a way for crossing the road if they don’t, we get angry, and in such cases we need to think about situation and environment. Just ask few questions to yourself to understand the mess and to control anger.
- First question, am I right?
- Second, was it my turn?
- Third, was my signal green or not?
- we have to consider our self in the situation of people which we are angry of them:
If an action of someone makes us angry we have to think if we could be in the same situation, having same education, same family background, and same intelligence level then how we react on it?
3. Avoid immediate response:
While we get angry we must avoid immediate response. We should practice, how to delay response and reaction as much as possible, because such situation we lost the ability to distinguish between good and bad responses.
4. Self awareness:
By self-awareness we get to know, why we got angry in a specific situation. By this self-awareness, we will be able to manage our anger. For example if someone says a joke, which make us angry if we are aware of our self we will understand why did I get angry while no one else got. Yes I have the problem which was mentioned in joke but he did not know about that or if he knew and he told it to offend me it shows his mental disorder.
5. Changing our expectation:
If we change and reduce our expectation from others we will be able to manage our anger.
If mentioned techniques do not work we can use this amazing technique:
1. Think of a thing or action which you were angry about
2. Draw a table
3. In first column write what exactly happened it should be completely neutrally
4. In second column write the reason which made you angry
For example I saw my younger brother wasting time by chatting on social media and I shouted and told him go and do your homework.
5. In third column analyze the anger:
Example: was he really wasting time and was I sure he had not done his homework? If yes does this way of telling help him to do his homework? What causes him for not being interested in studying and…?
If we write a few cases of our anger in such a way it will help us to be aware next time and manage our anger.